Senator Craig arrested.." I AM NOT GAY"

Sen. Larry Craig today denied any wrong doing today in connection with his arrest in a men's public restroom in the Minneapolis Airport. But what strikes me as odd is Craig's even more desperate cry to the public that he's not gay.

The married Idaho senator, who has been known to vote against every gay issue concerning equal rights, was arrested after soliciting an undercover male police officer in a men's public restroom at the airport in Minneapolis. The undercover officer stated that Senator Craig watched him go into a men’s stall and peeked at him through the crack in the door. Craig then went into the stall next to the officer and placed his wheeled baggage in front of the stall door so no one could see into the crack. He than slid his foot into the officer’s stall until it touched the officer. After he got down on his knees and brought his hand and arm over into the officer’s stall “reaching for him”. The officer then showed his badge under the stall. Senator Craig then stated “oh no”.

Dear Senator Craig, You keep stating that “I AM NOT GAY”. Being GAY is not a crime. Being a pervert in a men's public bathroom is a crime.

I know the fear of living life in "the closet" (I hate that saying but I'll use it in this case). But I never lied about who I was or work against the very lifestyle God chose for me or perved in a men’s public bathroom like you have done. A true man would stand his ground and admit to whom he was when faced with destiny. I have found that the fears of saying "I'm gay" are empty. I live by the words someone wrote..."Don't let the fear of rejection keep you from showing up every day of your life".

I can’t imagine living a life of lies and being true to yourself about who you are..in a men’s bathroom. That’s so sad if you think about it.

Now I’m not saying you have to make your personal sexual preference public to the world but I am saying you shouldn’t knock the very person you are by voting against equal rights for everyone.

The advice I would give to Senator Craig is to stop being a coward. (and I say coward not because of not admitting he’s gay but for using his power to vote against gays because of his fear and denial). Stand on your own two feet and stand proud of who you are. Once that step is taking I think you’ll breathe a lot easier. Your life will change and there’s a big chance that you won’t get back into office because of ignorance but you’ll live a life being true to yourself and the ones you love. But the most important advice I would give to him would be to stop being a pervert in public restrooms.

How To Spend A Million Dollars

I'll be the first to admit that I play the Powerball Lottery twice a week in hopes of winning the millions (this week it's 160+ million). I can't begin to imagine what I would do with the money if I won. Well, the truth is I must have had a million different dreams about what I would do with the money if I won. From investing it to make more (ohhh the greed) to spending it on foolish things like a $800,000 tree house (ohhh the stupidity). One of my friends ask me today how I would spend 1 million dollars if I had it and the question wasn't easy to answer. I thought about helping out my family members who needed some help or buying a nicer home. I also read that 70% of people who win the lottery are broke within a few years from being foolish with spending, not realizing there are high taxes, ect.
"They" say that money doesn't buy you happiness. I say paying my bills makes me happy. Buying nice things makes me happy. I know it can't buy you friends or love. It could turn the nicest person in the world into the most evil. It could make friends turn on friends, loved on on loved ones. There's so much to lose and so much to gain. It could make you so popular and yet make you a target.
What would you do with a million dollars? Would it change you? Would it make you happier? Who would you tell you had the money? Would you quit your job? Ect.
The answers could be so easy and yet so hard. Personally one day I would like to find out!!

Erasure: Brooklyn, NY

On one of the hottest days in recent memory I ventured out with a few of my friends to see Erasure give an outside concert in Brooklyn, NY. I once again joined my trio of Erasure groupies (Gary, Suzanne and Denise) and met up with a few of their friends to withstand the heat and watch Andy Bell give yet another incredible performance as lightning eerily lite up the nighttime sky. While most of the songs were from the Light At The End Of The World cd (I love this cd), they also played some of their classics. Just watching how much fun Andy Bell has on stage I could tell that he loves what he does and that makes for an even better performance. His voice and music just gives you a nature high (even though I could smell some other ways of getting high around me ha ha).
I'm still amazed by NYC. Even though I've seen it dozens and dozens of times I'm still blown away by everything from the skyline, to the cool diner and bar we went to and right down to the whole lifestyle of this great city. I don't think I'll ever outgrow that feeling of awe. We ate at the best diner and then met some friends in a bar that was so cool that it set the mood for the rest of the night. Even though Denise didn't get her Mr. Softie ice cream (rumor has it that they sell drugs from the truck anyhow) the night still rocked! I do have to give kudos to Suzanne's most excellent driving skills. She drove the streets of NYC like a pro, got us there in an hour, found an incredible parking space (Gary said "no way he was parking his car in that neighborhood" ha ha) and navigated us through the pouring rain and lightning on the way home! I get lost just looking at a "WELCOME TO NYC" sign! Here's a few pictures of the concert and friends.

Indiana Jones and the Sighting of Harrison Ford

OK, day three and I'm really starting to feel like a stalker. Well, I shouldn't feel that way seeing that there was a good 200 people watching this movie being made along with myself. I saw Steven Spielberg waving to Harrison Ford's stunt double as he rode a motorcycle through that courtyard in a section of Yale. Then I saw him talking to a short gray haired man in a brown suit. The guy turns around and it's Harrison Ford! He was done before I could blink an eye. I'm starting to thing the stunt double is the true star of this movie.

I did sneak back on the set when they broke for lunch and got to stand next to the bike Indiana Jones was riding! I then was escorted off the set by the tough Paramont Studio security team. I at least got a few pictures off before they got me. There was also about a hundred extras all dressed up as though it was 1950. It was almost like a horror movie! I posted a pic on the bottom

Well at least I saw Harrison Ford. I think the movie is being shot all this week so I'll try to keep things up to date ... if I don't get busted first.

Indiana Jones and the Attack of the New Haveners

I went back to the film site again and this time things were really hopping. The street was lined with classic cars from the 50's. They all were idle and waiting for Steven Spielberg to yell "action". It was more difficult to walk around the set because the security was very tight. Down a side street was a old motorcycle with Harrison Ford's stunt double on it. That was the closest we got to seeing Harrison today. It was kind of like seeing his evil twin that can't act but could ride a vintage 1950 motorcycle through the streets of New Haven.

I saw Steven Spielberg walking around and looking into a camera pointed at the vintage cars. They were yelling "QUIET"... funny thing was that they were the only ones making noise by yelling quiet all the time.

Seeing Ford or not, it's still a fun experience watching all the film crew, cameras and lights. The filming is going to continue all through next week so I'm still holding out hopes in getting an up close pic of Steven Spielberg or Harrison Ford. Hell, at this point I'll settle for a shot of the evil twin on the motor cycle.

Indiana Jones and the Seekers of Spielberg

Today I went down the street from the hospital I work at in New Haven, CT and watched Paramount Studios transform one of New Haven's main roads from a thriving city street in 2007 to a strip of stores out of the simpler year of 1953 for a few scenes of the next Indian Jones movie.

Chapel Street is filled with stores and surrounded by Yale University. The movie studio changed all the store fronts to resemble the stores that lined the street in the early 1950's. I was amazed at the detail they put into their work, right down to the products that were hot for sale back in the day.

Although we didn't see Harrison Ford or Steven Spielberg...YET, (both are on location here), we did hear rumors of sightings of the two.

One of the scenes being shot is a motorcycle chase scene through the Yale campus and through the streets of New Haven.

After messing around with some props on the set and being yelled at by Spielberg's assistant for being on the set and taking pictures, we were lucky enough to be interviewed by a local news crew covering the story. Tomorrow I'm hoping to head back down to try to get a glimpse of Spielberg or Ford. I'll fill you in if that happens.

The pics I posted was me (in my hospital scrubs) in front of "Woolworths", a store that was in New Haven up until the early 1980's and was recreated by Paramount Studios.

The other is my friend Lisa being interviewed by NBC.

True Colors Tour NYC

"Equality for all" was the battle cry from the "True Colors Tour" at the Radio City Music Hall in NYC. Last night I went with five of my friends to the five hour concert which featured several performers such as Cyndi Lauper, Erasure, Debby Harry (Blondie), Rosie O'Donnell and Margaret Cho. The tour is to raise support for human rights and equality for gays around the world.

The first half of the show seemed to drag as Debby Harry (Blondie from the 80's) belted out a few unknown songs of her upcoming CD. I actually felt a little embarrassed for her as she appeared sluggish and tired, singing mediocre songs. If it wasn't for Margaret Cho's superb comic skills I think the first part of the show would have been a total disaster.

Then after a quick break the second half of the show started and it ROCKED! Margaret Cho was right on target keeping people rolling in the isles. The biggest surprise of the night for me was Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie put aside the annoying politics and arguing and served up some of the funniest lines of the night.

The place really hit a high note when Erasure came out. They had the entire place on their feet and dancing. Andy Bell's voice is second to none and the show he and Vince put on was as incredible as always.

The real high light of the night was Cyndi Lauper, the creator of the True Colors Tour. Her voice is as powerful as it was in the 80's. Her "true colors" really came trough as she spoke from the heart about gay and equal rights for everyone. With Rosie O'Donnell on the drums, Cyndi was all over the stage giving an upbeat, energy filled performance.

In the end Cyndi Lapuer along with Andy Bell sang "True Colors", a hit of Lauper's back in the 80's. Tonight gave a whole new meaning for the song to me as it reminded us all to show out true colors and be ourselves and stand strong.

I walked away form the show feeling high spirited and proud to be a gay man. I looked around and I saw so much positive energy coming from the crowd and performers last night and it once again made me realize that being gay isn't a thing to hide or be ashamed of. It's who I am and something to be proud of.

My Rating.. First 1/2 (2 out of 5), Second 1/2 (5 out of 5)
http://www.truecolorstour.com

Mark Bingham (United Flight 93)

My name is Rick Clark. The last year my life changed for ever and through this change I decided to start keeping a record of who I am. Now, for me to say "who I am" is kind of important because to this point in my life not many people knew who I was.

I grew up in a large family. 5 brothers and 3 sisters. I was the 3rd youngest of this baseball team we called our family. We nicked name our house "The Clark Ark." I have a very close circle of friends. Now I have a lot of friends but I hold only a very few close to my heart. I have a saying that Family isn't who you are born with, it's who you let in to your life. I say that because I'm not to close to most of my blood family but I hold my best friend at the same level as I would a true brother. As time goes on I'll introduce you to who the people in my life are and how they played a role in me becoming me.

In the spring of 2006 I was depressed. I found myself totally alone again in my apartment in Wallingford, CT. I was alone by choice but at that point in my life I didn't realize that. The TV was on and it was showing a news broadcast. I'm still not sure if it was CNN, FOX... but it was one of those 24 hour news stations. I was half paying attention to it, feeling sorry for myself and not knowing why. Then suddenly a woman's voice caught my ear. Her name was Alice Hoglan and she was being interviewed. I heard her say she didn't want people to forget who her son was and what he did. It was like someone whispered in my ear and told me to pay attention. Her son was Mark Bingham. He was one of the 4 men on United flight 93 that stopped the hijackers from flying their plane into the Capitol on September 11, 2001.

For some reason that I can't explain I went to my computer. For these moments I forgot I was depressed and I typed the name Mark Bingham into search on Google. I already kind of knew who Mark Bingham was. I knew he was a hero and was on flight 93 but that was about it. When the search was complete there was a website listed. It was run by Mark's friend's and family. It was full of pictures and stories about who Mark was to them. I started reading and I was taken back by the love these people showed for him. There was even strangers who posted and thanked him. Then I came across something that would surprise me and change my life for ever. Mark Bingham was a 6'4, 220 pound rugby player, caring friend, devoted son and brother, business man and hero..who happened to be gay.

It was like something clicked in my brain. I read about him for hours that night. I saw so much of me in him. His belief in people and seeing the good side of them. Protecting the ones you love at any risk and when he was younger a fear I shared with him to this day...the fear of people finding out I was gay. The more I read, the more I felt my soul telling me it's time to tell your friends and family who you really are. I was afraid. I admit that dearly. I was afraid of the reaction, the backlash. I then came across a eulogy written by Mark's best friend Todd that was posted on the sight. It was the end of it that sunk deep into my soul and gave me strength. He wrote of fear. This is the end of that eulogy:

Fear can ruin a friendship. Fear can ruin a marriage. Fear can, at the very least, render a life completely and utterly mediocre.

We admire Mark because he had all of these wonderful qualities that I and everyone else here have talked about tonight. What I hope you realize that you love these qualities not just because Mark had them, which he did, but because you do, too. You just may let fear get in the way of how those qualities show up in your life.

Here's my challenge to you, the challenge I am giving myself. I challenge you to not necessarily be fearless, but to recognize your fear and to act anyway. To take action and make the most out of every single day. To not let fear of failure keep you from trying at all. To not let fear of rejection keep you from showing up every day of your life. I love you, Mark. I always, always will. I will make my life great, I swear I'll make you proud.

Todd Sarner

I actually started to cry when I read this. It was a line that spoke to me. The line that read "To not let the fear of rejection keep you from showing up every day of your life." I knew I could tell people now. I knew I needed to tell people who I am. I lived in that fear and I knew if a man could be like Mark, that could be so loved, so fun, so dedicated and so brave and be gay, that it had to be a good thing. Mark lived as Mark and I wanted to start living as Rick. I just didn't know how to start the ball rolling. That's when I emailed Mark's mother Alice.

I explained to Alice how I came across Mark's site and how I wanted to tell people about myself and was afraid. Thank God she emailed me back and that she was a caring, loving lady. She told me how Mark told her. He promised himself that he would tell his mom that he was gay before the sun went down one day. He did just that. Her email gave me strength and I decided to tell my best friend

Joe first. I called him and ask if I could speak to him face to face because I had something I needed to tell him. My heart was pounding just saying that over the phone to him. After I hung up I was almost panicked. I didn't know how I was going to do this. I read the line on fear that Mark's friend wrote and it somehow gave me strength so I printed it up. No sooner did I get to my living room that the phone rang. It was Joe and he said I'll be over in 5 minutes. I didn't expect him to come over seeing it was kind of late and a Sunday night. Now I was panicked. I knew I had to do it though. After he got here he sat down. I looked up out my window and saw the sun fading away. It was just peaking out on the horizon. I was totally lost in what I was going to say. My hands were shaking. I then took the paper I printed from Mark's site and read to myself what Todd wrote about fear. Without a word I looked up at my best friend and handed him the paper. I hardly got out "read this" before my voice cracked. He did and then looked at me kind of confused. I just blurted out "I'm gay."

The few seconds I waited for his reaction seemed like hours. I swear I felt Mark supporting me. I didn't feel alone anymore. Joe's reaction couldn't have been better. He showed me total support and I knew it came from his heart. His positive reaction helped me pave the way in telling my friends, coworkers and family who I was. It also made me realize that some of these people, especially Joe and his wife Cynthia knew me for years but never really knew me. As I told more and more people who I cared about it became easier. I did take out the words of Mark's friend Todd over and over before I did tell people. To this day I carry those words in my wallet. They are strength for me along with the heart of Mark Bingham and who he was and how he changed me forever. I never thought nearly 5 years ago watching the story of United flight 93 on the news that one of those heroes on that plane would be a true hero to me today.

On the weekend May 27th. I had the honor of meeting Mark's mother Alice face to face in NYC. It was at a Rugby tournament held in her son's honor called The Bingham Cup. She was even more incredible and caring then I could hope for. I met so many of Mark's friends and watched them play the game he loved so much. I realized at this point I finally arrived. I'm finally Rick.

Since that day I joined Alice Hoglan and Mark's friends and family in Shanksville, PA on the fifth anniversary of the plane crash and the terrorists attacks. Shanksville was the small country town where United Flight 93 crashed. Seeing the memorial site there was a surreal and moving experience. I will forever be thankful to Mark Bingham for being who he was and for what he did for this country and for me personally. Thank you Mark.

I would also like to thank Mark's Mom Alice for being a beacon in a storm for me and guiding me home. To Mark's friend Todd for words that gave me strength and showed me a new way to live my life. To Mark's friend Joe in San Francisco for the support and friendship he gave to me and to my friends who I love so much, especially Joe..my best friend. You're a true brother to me!

Am I the only one out there addicted to the Sci-Fi Channel's movies that are shown on Saturday? These movies usually look like they were made form 3rd rate directors that filmed them with a video camera and were scripted by some nerdy high school student. They star actors from yesteryear that seemed to have dropped off the face of the Earth (Vanessa Williams, C. Thomas Howell to name a few). Watching these once serious actors trying to keep a straight face as they run from really bad computer images of u.f.o.'s and animated giant bugs is a hoot.

There's something likable about a man eating fish that could walk on land named "Frankenfish", or the giant snow loving spiders that prey upon unexpected skiers called "Ice Spiders".

While most of these movies focus on animals gone wild, they do sometimes throw in a "the world is coming to an end" movie. Some of the movies are right out rip offs of major motion pictures but look like they were made in someones garage. That's the true appeal of this network's Saturday flicks.

Greed shows it's ugly face as Flight 93 memorial land in dispute

As the 40 passengers of United Flight 93 battled the hijackers that took control of their plane on September 11, 2001 they fought to stop the four hijackers from crashing the plane into our nation's capital. This event ended with the heroes of United Flight 93 giving their lives by crashing the plane in a field in Shanksville, PA. to save the lives of hundred if not thousands in Washington, DC.

As a temporary memorial was constructed by caring people who visited the site from day one it became obvious that this was now hallow ground that represented the bravery and spirit of the people on the plane that day.

On the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attacks plans for an official memorial site were announced. Through private donations and some money from the government things began to move along smoothly... until today. Mike Svonavec, owner of the land, wants $10 million for his 273-acre property in Somerset County, far more than the per-acre amount paid for nearby land. That is over 9 1/2 million dollars more than the land is worth. Mr. Svonavec knows that there is only a small amount of money to work with and decided to ignore that fact and is trying to soak every cent possible from this tragedy.

Mike Svonavec needs to remember that the 40 people on United Flight 93 gave their lives to save many others and that no one is asking him to give anything. All that's ask is that he goes with a very generous selling price and let the memorial that means so much to this country and the relatives and friends of everyone who died on that day be built.

I like to thank the Acadamy....

I always thought it was a strange ritual when watching the Oscar Awards and the winners would get up on stage and thank those most important to them. Some would thank God, some would thank their parents, the director and the film studio. Sally Fields helled out "You like me... you really like me"! Well yes Sally, we do like you.

I started thinking who I would thank if I was up on that stage. Then I started thinking about who and what has been most important to me so far in life. This is my list of people and things and why they are important.

My Mom: For showing me how to survive and laugh. She actually showed me laughing is how you survive. It's not about what happens in your life, it's all about how you handle it. She was a true survivor and a true comedian at times and I thank her for passing that on to me.

Joe: My best friend in life. From the day I met him we became friends. He was one of the very few people in my life that seemed to understand what it was like to be me and excepted me for who I am. He made me feel worth while. From just hanging out doing nothing to getting wasted to working our asses off, he stood by me. I believe that not everyone finds a true best friend. I'm thankful I found mine!

My Jeep Wrangler: I wanted a Jeep since I was a kid and when I bought my first one in 2001 I fell in love with it. Now I know it's only a "car" but this yellow Jeep with a Superman wheel cover has been my favorite ride of all time. From cruising through the deep snow to driving to Tennessee with the top off has been the coolest times. My dream is to drive across country some day.

The Hospital: I've worked at the Hospital Of Saint Raphael more than half of my life. The people I've met there have become part of my family. The skills I was lucky enough to been taught have given me a career. I think it's time to move on though.

Kenny: My older brother has always been that... an older brother. He's always looked out for me and sacrificed for many people. He lost his eye site last year but hasn't lost "who he is". He is.. well, he's funny, loyal, cheap as hell and admits to that and like my mother, a survivor. We've been through a lot together and it's been a wild ride that was fun because of him!

Gary and the dogs: I met Gary a few years ago and dated him for about a year. He's a great looking loving guy who owns two dogs. Both are yellow labs and I love the dogs to death, Now even though it didn't work out like I wish it did with Gary he's still one of the best friends I ever had. He's like a safe haven to me. Sheffield and George (the dogs) make me feel wanted and loved. I feel blessed to have Gary, the dogs and his family in my life. How can't you love a true Italian family?!!!

Mark Bingham and his Mom Alice: From the day I found out what he did on United Flight 93 and how he gave his life to stop the terrorists on the plane to the eye opened revelation that he was gay and showed that being gay no difference that day. Part of me thinks that maybe being gay made a difference in a good way. That was part of who Mark was. I used his bravery to tell people I was gay also. With the support of his mother Alice and a couple of his friends (Joe and Todd..thank you!) I took these frighting steps to telling the world who Richard Clark really was. Mark helped change my life for the better and I could never thank him enough for the courage he showed on September 11, 2001 and the courage he passed on to me today. You're a true hero to me!

Wayne: Growing up with Wayne was some of the best times of my childhood. You were more of a brother to me than a cousin. From all the movies we watched to all the trips we took with your dad to the crazy sleep overs and all the adventures any kid could ask for. I remember laying outside looking up at the stars while camping in your back yard talking about what we were going to do when we got older. I think I was planning on being a cop.. ha ha. You were going to buy a horse ranch. As life played it cruel games and took you from us at such and early age we never got to see our dreams come to light. I miss you and I look forward to the day we see each other again in heaven!