Gay Pride 2008

I remember as a child I felt different. I didn't like the feeling of being that way so I tried my best to fit in. But fitting in correctly felt so wrong.
I remember as a teenager I would go to sleep and so many times I would pray to God that I would wake up "normal".

The world around us separated us and we were placed in a category which was topped with shame, disgrace, ignorance. We were told we were all bound to burn in hell. We are living in a country where a human being could be targeted and beaten to death because of their sexual orientation and the act isn't considered a hate crime.

"Don't Let The Fear Of Rejection Keep You From Showing Up Everyday Of Your Life." was the words that changed my life forever.
These words were spoken at a eulogy for a brave young man from San Francisco that gave his life to stop terrorists on a hijacked plane on September 11, 2001. Doing so, hundreds if not thousands of lives were saved that day.This man was one of "us".

I saw how he was loved and missed by so many. I saw he was brave and happy. I saw he let nothing or no one stand in his way.
This is who I would begin to use for courage and inspiration every day of my life.
When I read about this man I suddenly knew what it was like to be a proud gay man.

I was ask recently if I could take a pill and wake up straight would I take it. As a teenager I wouldn't hesitate to say "yes" to that question. As an adult man I wouldn't hesitate to say "no".
This is who I am, right down to my soul. Unlike what so many closed minded people think, I was born this way. This is how God made me. This is how God wanted me to be.
I've met some of the most incredible people through my journey as a gay man. I had so many incredible experiences which have shaped me to who I am today.
Today I am proud of who I am.

The struggle for equality is far from over. As God is used as a mask for ignorance and hate we need to all stand together as one. The God I have faith in doesn't hate. He wouldn't punish something he created. I feel sorry for the people who worship a God of hate and vengeance.
So stand tall and proud and let no one every stand in your way from being you!

Happy Gay Pride 2008!

Things I've Learned From Sleeping In An Airport a.k.a Curse Of The Blond VooDoo Woman

One of my best friends, Gabby, who's also a co-worker and I went to a workshop in Albuquerque, NM last week. We were both pretty excited because this was the first time either one of us ever visited this fine city.

The day started out so well. We made it from New Haven, CT to LaGuardia Airport in NY in record time. We had time to kill at the airport. We sat and ate lunch. We talked and laughed a lot. We were first in line to get our seating arrangements on the plane.

The day was perfect. We though nothing could go wrong...until this blond chick comes out from the ticket booth and can't find our reservations. Now I admit I was a little scared for a second until she quickly found them. Now that wasn't a sign that things were going to go bad. She made a slight error was all. I was convinced of that.
As we walked away Gabby then realized that the same blond woman forgot to give us our licenses back. I quickly ran back to the booth and retrieved our licenses. I could tell that Gabby had her watchful eye on this blond "voodoo woman" who might be part of a bigger scheme to sabotage this perfect day.

We approached the security screening area and I removed all metal objects from my person. I make it a personal challenge to myself to beat this metal detector and pass through smoothly every time I fly. This time was no different. We both passed through with no problem. Our perfect day was back on track.

We both checked our flight. It was on time. We were to leave NY for a quick transfer in Denver, CO and then onto Albuquerque, NM. We settled into a couple of chairs near our planes boarding area. We were way early and happy. As time clicked closer and closer to our departing time we noticed something at the boarding booth. Behind the booth were three people. One tall balding man, a short brunette woman....and that blond voodoo lady from the check in booth. Then suddenly the three announce that a storm has delayed our flight.
"This can't be. The day is going to perfect." I thought to myself.
"I told you this chick was trouble." Gabby said to me in a stern voice.
We had plenty of time. We had a good hour and a half of safety net time before we were supposed to leave NY. We were going to be just fine I convinced myself.

FIVE HOURS LATER we boarded our plane for Denver. Now with any luck we could still catch a connecting plane to Albuquerque when we get there.
It was nearly 12:30 AM when we landed in Denver. The last plane to Albuquerque left at 9 PM. The airport was a ghost town. The next flight to Albuquerque was at 7 AM the next morning. We knew that the time we found a motel that it would be time to leave. Our only option... to sleep in the airport.

We were assured by an employee that we could stay there and not be kicked out by airport security. Not being "homeless" was always a plus as far as I saw it. I try to look on the bright side of things. I tried to think of this as an adventure (I tried REAL HARD!) So after spending the night in a deserted airport I realized I walked away a little more knowledgeable about sleeping at an airport, and below I listed my top 10 things.
By the way, we did finally arrive in Albuquerque and it was an awesome place to visit. I'll post some pictures later.

Things I've learned from sleeping in an airport:
1. The seats are hard as hell.
2. The floor is harder.
3. The buzzing sound of a floor waxer makes an excellent alarm clock.
4. Fill your back pack full of soft clothing and they'll make better pillows.
5. The McDonald's in the Denver airport stays open 24/7.
6. Denver gets cold at night and the airport doesn't offer you blankets.
7. Sleeping with one eye open isn't as hard as it might sound.
8. I realized that there is something worse then camping out in a tent.
9. It is possible to shower in a airport bathroom sink.
10. Dorothy was right... There's no place like home.

The Bingham Cup 2008: Hero's Dream Lives On

I've posted here several times about a man named Mark Bingham. In previous post I told readers who he was and how he changed my life forever in an incredibly positive way. Even though Mark died over six years ago he's still making an impact on not just me but on the entire world.

In the next several days, Dublin Ireland will be hosting The Bingham Cup. The Bingham Cup is an international rugby competition named in remembrance of Mark Bingham.
Mark died at age 31 on September 11, 2001, on board United Airlines flight 93. He is believed to have been one of the four passengers who stormed the cockpit to prevent the hijackers from using the plane to kill hundreds or thousands of additional victims. In a phone call to his mother, Alice Hoagland, shortly before the plane went down, he told her, "some of us here are going to try to do something."

At 6ft 4in and 225 pounds, Mark loved playing the sport of rugby. After playing through high school and for the University of California Berkeley, Mark, along with several other friends, started a rugby team called The San Francisco Fog.
The Fog was a first of it's kind rugby team. Mark was an incredible rugby player who happened to be gay. He envisioned a team of players made up of total diversity. Unlike many teams of many sports in this country, it made no difference if you were gay, straight or bisexual. All were welcome without the fear of discrimination.
Mark Bingham lost his life soon after the San Francisco Fog was organized.

Mark didn't live to see the several new rugby teams following the Fog's lead such as the N.Y.'s Gotham Knights, The Boston Ironsides and the Washington Renegades. Soon there were several diverse rugby teams not only in the United States but all over the world.

In his honor, the International Gay Rugby Association started a biannual competition and named it The Bingham Cup and was first hosted by Mark's team, the San Francisco Fog, in 2002.
That year, eight teams traveled to California for the very first biannual Bingham Cup.
In 2004 The Bingham Cup, which was held in England, saw the teams grow from eight to twenty teams from four countries.
In 2006 the number of teams grew for the New York held event. Twenty-nine teams from six countries came together along with the very first women's league, also made up of diverse members.
I attended the games that year. I was awestruck by what I saw. I watched these people not only play to win but more importantly, they played to be heard. The message was loud in clear. It shouted, "We are all the same. We play as hard, as fast and with the same heart as anybody out there."

This week over thirty teams arrived in Dublin, Ireland to play for The Bingham Cup. I wasn't able to attend the games this time round but I received an e-mail from Mark's mother Alice in which she told me she would keep me up to date with the events in the following days. I told her that even though I'm not standing there with them, I'll be there in heart and soul.

On September 11, 2001 Mark stood up along with a make shift team of players, not on a rugby field but on a boeing 757, and they looked fear in the eyes and made a difference.
This weekend in his honor, over thirty teams of gay and bi-sexual men and women are standing up and facing fear in the form of ignorance and hate in the eye and are saying we are all the same, on and off the field and like Mark and his team on United Flight 93, they too will make a difference.

(Mark Bingham and his Mother Alice in 2001)

Keep Cool

We're in the middle of our first heat wave here in the north east. It hit 100 today which is very unusual for Connecticut in June. So to all those out there, try to be like my friend Gary's dog Sheffield and keep cool.
(I love this picture)

United Flight 93 Metal Being Used To Build Navy Ship

After using steel from The World Trade Center to build the naval ship USS New York, the U.S Navy has once again stepped forward to honor the heroes of September 11th.

This time, scrap metal from a coal mining machine that sat on the grounds where United Flight 93 crashed will be used to help make the USS Somerset, named after the county where the 40 passengers and crew lost their lives battling terrorist on their hijacked plane on September 11, 2001.

Twenty-two tons of steel from a drag line crane were removed from the site and sent to Mississippi where it will be melted down and used to build the ship which is expected to be done by 2012.

Poor Ed McMahon...WHAT THE....

I'm sitting here watching the news and wondering if I've grown into a cold, heartless, bitter person. The reason I question this is because I have an over all feeling of disgust and nausea watching a news story about how Ed McMahon is on the brink of losing his 5 MILLION DOLLAR mansion to foreclosure.

All these people are saying "poor Ed". What about the thousands upon thousand of families who are losing there "average" homes?

I really do feel sorry that he's losing his home. I feel bad for anyone in this situation but this man just rebuilt his mansion after he had mold in it and after he won a 7 MILION DOLLAR lawsuit and now he's on Larry King crying "poor me". Maybe I just don't get it. He should have built a cheaper, smaller house. One that he could pay for. Not some status symbol. Families that would be happy to have a house the size of his garage are the ones in need of our prayers and help right now.

Show us a real family that's struggling to survive and feed their kids and are desperately trying to hang on to their little house. That's what teh news should be showing us. How about the people who are sick, lost their jobs and face foreclosure? What the news decides to show us is some man who's whining about blowing millions upon millions of dollars and now can't hang on to his mansion. Is there no shame?

O.K. I admit it..I'm growing cold, heartless and bitter.

My "Family"

I truly believe that family isn't who you are born with. It is who you let into your life and heart.

My best friend Joe is someone I call my brother. Many people live their entire life and never find a true best friend. I've been lucky enough to have actually found one. From the moment I met Joe I knew we would be friends. He has been at my side through some of the most horrible of times and right next to me at the most incredible moments of my life.
His wife Cynthia, son Colby (who is my Godson) and two daughters, Molly and Kelsey are as close to me as anyone could possibly be. I'm their Uncle Rick and their my heart.
I heard Colby come into this world. I held all three children right from their first days. We've decorated Christmas trees together, laughed at holidays and cried at tragedy. They hugged me as I lost my mother and they were the very first I was able to be "me" around without fear of being judged. But the hardest thing I've gone through with them was saying goodbye as they moved away to South Carolina.

I went to visit them this past week and the moment I saw them I felt so welcome that it was like coming home after a long time away. Even though we talk several times a week on the phone it's just not the same as being there. although I saw them just 6 months ago it was like only a day had passed the minute we laid eyes on each other. Life didn't skip a beat.
There's nothing like feeling all the hugs from the kids. I could never get tired of hearing the laughter, playing games and just seeing the magic in their eyes as only little kids could have.
I realized that I missed Cynthia's humor and warmth and fun. And what I missed the most is my best friend. The way we get each other's humor. The way he sees life. The way he actually listens and hears what I am saying and actually cares. It's a trait that not many have. He's unique in the best of ways and someone I'm honored to be "brothers" with.
These wonderful people I call my family show me the love that I think I've craved from a family all my life and for that I could never thank them or love them enough.

As the week ended and we all hugged at the airport and said goodbye I could feel the tears filling up in my eyes. I didn't look back as I walked away because if I did I think I would have lost it and I didn't want them to see me cry. It was a long and lonely flight home.

I'm sitting here typing this and it's unlike when I first saw them last week. Even though I've been gone for a day, it feels like months. I miss and love you all. Thanks for being my family.

FOX NEWS 5 NY : HOMOPHOBIA AT IT'S WORSE

I was outraged tonight watching FOX NEWS 5 NY. Several times on their little news briefs they mentioned a shocking song that was being played over the airwaves. Here I am thinking that it must be a song about something horrible like death and violence. During the evening news broadcast they showed the story and it was about a song by Katy Perry called "I Kissed A Girl And Liked It."

Fox covered this story as though it was the most horrible thing for any radio station to play. They never once mentioned all the rap songs that talk about violence to women and police officers. They failed to mention all it was about was affection between two same sexed people. So she kissed a girl and liked it. Hell, maybe more people should kiss out there in the world and maybe things wouldn't be so bad. They showed people saying that it should be taken off the radio. One woman said that she didn't want her kids listening to a song like this and another very ignorant woman who seemed outraged by the song. They never once mentioned that there are women who kiss women in the world or that this song shows the world is moving in a positive direction, away from hate. But no, FOX NEWS 5 NY decided to go in that dark, horrible direction and feed the machine just for a story.

I'm not saying that everyone has to agree or understand the fact that there are millions of gay people on this planet we all share. What I am asking for is that we give people the right to show or sing that gay people exist and are human beings with the will to love and not have to hide it from the world. What FOX NEWS 5 NY did tonight was spread even more homophobia in a world where it's running ramped already.

I am shocked and disillusioned by how bias and negative this story was covered. Guess what FOX NEWS 5 NY.. There's gay people all around you and your viewers so if you really want to shocked look at the person that's standing next to you... you just never know, they might have kissed the same sex before. Oh the scandal. Here are the lyrics they seem to find so horrible and offensive:

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

E.T. The Extraterrestrial

It's been more than 25 years since a wrinkled little alien was left behind on the planet Earth and befriended by a 10 year old boy named Elliott.

Tonight, after a very long time, I watched E.T. The Extraterrestrial on Nick At Night. I was pleasantly surprised how this film held up to the test of time and still oozed magic and wonder.

I remember seeing this movie as a teen. It was a time in my life where it felt my whole world was falling apart. I just lost my father and my mother was horribly injured in a car accident at the hands of a drunk driver. I remember sitting in the movie theater and I found a way to step out of reality, even f it was for just a couple hours.

Time has gone by and like so many magical things from the past I forgot about this movie and how it made me feel inside as I sat in the movie theater so many years ago.

I found myself still mesmerized when E.T. took Elliott on a magical bike ride across the moon.
My heart still choked up when Elliott, who believes E.T. has died in the hands of the government agents, tries to come to terms with his death.
I found myself remembering how I sat at the edge of my seat in the movie theater as E.T.'s rescuers raced their bikes around government agents in a heroic rescue.
But what still was the most notable moment was when Elliott says goodbye to E.T. as his spaceship awaits. The dialog between the teary eyed Elliott and the thankful alien still pulls my heartstrings as it did back then. I think it goes down as one of the most moving moments in motion picture history when E.T. tells Elliott "I'll be right here" as he touches Elliott's heart.
Not until now did I realize that dealing with the death and sudden loss of my father back then was the reason I found this so moving for me.

This movie is a pure treasure and one of my most favorite films of all time. It's simple Steven Spielberg at his best and I movie that will always be special in my heart.

"Happy Memorial Day 2008"

It's Memorial Day and as far as I see it, it's the unofficial start to summer. It's a time for cook-outs,parades, the beach and the sun.
But let's take a moment to remember all the men and women in our armed forces who served and are serving this country. If you agree with this war or not we need to support these brave people who are putting their lives in the line of fire.
So to all our military present and past I salute you and your families. I wish you all a safe and speedy return home and everyone a Happy Memorial Day.
Peace.

Happy Mother's Day : Lessons Of A Mother"

Every mother has lessons for their children. These lessons go beyond washing behind your ears, saying thank you and please and sitting up straight. A true mother instills lessons of life in their children without the children even knowing it. I look back at my mother and I could easily zone in on the lessons that I've learned.

She taught me strength through living. Never to stop walking forward. She was a true believer in the fact that no matter how hard things get, they will so enough get better. I learned this after my father died. My mom tried her best to pull together the pieces of a broken family. I remember thinking it looked like a juggling act. I remember being so afraid on the inside but I also knew she would figure things out. She had to swallow her pride more than once to keep things going but she never showed us that she was worried. There was always a smile on her face for us. I look back and now I could understand that inside she must have been so frightened and tired and knowing her she must have figured that showing these emotions would get her no where.

She taught us to find the humor in the worst of times. I was blessed with a mother with a terrific sense of humor. Even in her last days, laying in bed sick, she still made us laugh. She always had a good story to tell. From growing up in Maine to being the first of her friends to "wear pants" out in public. I could sit and listen and laugh with her for hours.

My mother had a huge heart and opened it up toward everyone. But that heart was something you didn't take advantage of because behind it was a very strong willed woman who didn't tolerate being taking advantage of.

Our lives in the Clark house was nothing short of a soap opera. It was something new every day, From the good to the bad she showed us unconditional love. My siblings and I (there were nine of us) put her through the ringer more than a few times and no matter what, she never stopped loving us.

I find myself using these lessons in my life. I look at them as more then lessons but as gifts from a woman I knew loved me and my brothers and sisters very much. To ignore or forget these gifts would be nothing short of a disgrace to the very person who gave them to us through love.
I'm so thankful for her and love and miss her so much. So here's to you mom.
"Happy Mother's Day".

When A Friend Leaves

People come and go from our lives all the time. It's just a fact of life. But when the ones I care about leave is when I realize how much that fact of life sucks.

My friend Kenny moved away this morning to the San Diego and I thought I would write something here in his honor. Kenny not only provided me with some of the best pictures I've posted on this blog in the past year but far more importantly he gave me true friendship that I'll always cherish.

From meeting me at top of the Rockefeller Center Building after I ran up the entire stairwell to the fun we had to exploring NYC to just hanging out watching Project Runway marathons, you were a high point to me this past year (minus the time my train ran over that lady when I was heading into the city to see you).

I don't think we thank out friends enough or tell them how much they mean to us so I want to take this time to say I'll miss you when watching the pups, or The Soup. I'll never look at NYC again without thinking about you.

So thank you for the friendship and smiles. Even though we'll talk on the phone and the computer I'll still miss you my friend.

I wish you all the happiness and successes at what ever you do! I'll see you soon, I promise.

STANDING UP

I was half asleep coming home on a train with one of my best friends Saturday night. We were in NYC at a goodbye celebration for another friend who’s moving to CA. It was now late and we were on the last train out of the city.

I could hear the group of young people who were seated near us. One of the girls and her boyfriend were relishing in a public display in the form of an argument. At first the girl was being cute with her insults toward him. I think she was trying to get a charge out of the people sitting around her more than she was from him. I could tell she liked the attention she was drawing.

I felt myself sinking in my seat as I started to fall asleep from the rocking motion of the homebound train when I could hear the loud, arguing girl try to “out cute” herself in her insults directed at her boyfriend.
“You have AIDS” she said to him over and over. A comment like this alone is harsh and ugly. Suddenly and to my surprise, my friend literally leaped from his seat and confronted the pair. Outraged he protested the exchange of insults. He told them they were way out of line with their comments and to stop. Now you have to know my friend to really appreciate this. He’s a schoolteacher that has a pretty cool demeanor.

The girl had a look of total shame. Her boyfriend, trying to save face told my friend to sit down. My friend stood his ground and again told them, in his most intimidating “schoolteacher voice” that their comments were out of line and unacceptable. You could suddenly hear a pin drop on the crowded car.

My friend’s point couldn’t be argued with. This was one of those moments when someone took a stand and spoke out against something they believed wasn’t right. He refused ti sit idle as these ugly comments were being made. He later told me that he shocked himself. He said he couldn't sit quietly anymore and listen to the thoughtless comments. It also showed that you never know who’s around you in public and how your comments could offend and even hurt someone.

A moment later the girl approached our seats and with tears running down her face as she apologized. She said she didn’t think of how cruel her comments were. She told us that she knows someone with cancer and that she woul feel horrible if she heard people making fun of them and that she was ashamed of her actions.

As she left the train at her stop the girl looked back at us with tears still in her eyes and smiled as my friend returned the smile and blew her a kiss. I think at that moment we realized that this train ride may have changed this girl for the good, even if it's in a small way.

My mom always told me "You are who your friends are." Unlike the family you're born with, you choose your friends and they choose you. I believe in my heart that I have an incredible circle of friends. They’re a group of people that I’m proud to call not only friends, but my family. They are my friends because of their heart and integrity. This is one of those times where that point shines bright.

It's Halloween...no wait... It's ComicCon NYC 2008

They say that there's a million things to do in NYC. Today I found a doozy. My friend convinced me to go to the World Series of Comics.. Comic Con NYC. This is like Geek Christmas to some people. To others it's just plain old fun. Now they describe this as an event where all the comic book artist, writers, toy makers, sci-fi makers all get together and show off their work. How I describe it is a Revenge Of The Nerds ala Trekkies meets The Comic Book Guy. This is a once a year event...THANK GOD.

As I made my way into the Jacob Javitz Center I was met by a line that held THOUSANDS of waiting people (no joke). As we slowly crept into this massive building I took in the sites and sounds of dorkism. From the dozens of Storm Troopers to Elf Women to men wearing superhero costumes, enjoying the fact they found under-roos that fit them and being brave enough to wear them in public. The funny part was how much these people were getting into these characters. You could see some of them had that "I believe in the force" look in their eyes.

Once I got into the Javitz Center it became more entertaining. I saw some middle aged man dressed as a Star Trek Officer. I bumped into so many Spidermen that I wish I had a can of bug spray on me. I even came across a whiskey bottle carrying Banana. I still have no clue about that one.

One cool highlight was having some guy strike up a conversation with me while I was in line. It turned out to be actor Seth Green. The bad part of that was it was the first 2 minutes I was in the building..and it was down hill from there.

Now I'm being a little harsh on this whole thing but I'm only poking fun. I actually had an OK time. I think a lot of us have some geek inside of us. I met some incredibly talented artist for DC Comics and Marvel Comics. And everyone there was having a good time so all the power to them.

As for me, it was one of those once in a life time things. I say that because if I did it again I'd probably die. (OK, that was a little harsh).

Here are some pics from the day. The red headed guy is Seth Green by the way. Check out the Banana Man also.

(click on the pictures to see full size)

With You: The Mark Bingham Story

My life has taken me in all direction. I've seem some incredible things and met some fascinating people but two years ago this month I met a group of people that forever changed my life in a wonderful way.

Alice Hoglan is the mother to United Flight 93 hero Mark Bingham. Mark was one of 4 men who was believed to have rallied the passengers of United Flight 93 after their plane was hijacked on September 11, 2001. These 40 people gave their lives stopping the terrorists on their hijacked plane from crashing into out nation's capital.
Mark inspired me to take a step that was more like a jump without a net. But as my toes left the cliff I realized that Mark's mom Alice and his friends Joe and Todd would be my net and help me land on my feet more grounded then I ever thought possible.

A documentary is being made about Mark's life and with great honor I was ask to be part of it. It's still in the work but it's expected to be released in early 2009. I was sent a trailer to the documentary about this extraordinary man.
Chick the play button and check it out. (I'm the guy in the gray t-shirt and blue cap with Mark's mom Alice on the rugby field)


Director and Producer: Scott Gracheff is an Emmy-Award-winning documentary filmmaker.

A Picture That Makes Me Smile

I was going through some of my pictures and I came across this one that makes me laugh every time I see it. It's of my best friend Joe's two daughters, Molly and Kelsey. I left my camera at their house one day and when I got the camera back I found this picture on it. I couldn't stop laughing.

Joe and his family (Cynthia, Colby, my godson, Molly and Kelsey) moved away to South Carolina a couple years ago. Even tough I see them several times a year I still miss them all so much. Now and then it helps to bust out the pictures for a good laugh. I'll see you guys in May! I can't wait.

Some Spring

My friend Kenny who is an incredible photographer decided to send me some "spring" and I'd thought I'd share it with everyone else. Thanks Kenny!

APRIL FOOL PICTURE TEST

I thought I would have a little April Fool Fun with everyone so I posted a few pictures labeled A-M. Some of these pictures could be REAL some could be FAKE. All could be REAL and all could be FAKE. Take a look at them and you try to guess what is what.
To find the answers just click the COMMENT link at the bottom of this post. Let me know how you did.
To see the actual size of the pictures just click on them and hit the back arrow to return to the post.

4000 Men and Women Lost

4000 SOLDIERS DEAD.

Our prayers and thoughts are with the families and friends of these fallen men and women.

I'm not going to preach if we should be in Iraq or not. I just wanted to take a moment to honor our fallen brothers and sisters.

May we all find Peace and Hope and have our soldiers come home as soon as possible.

Happy Easter 2008